Parodies of Animedea
by Rabid Chibi Fangirl
Summary: PG-13 for mild swearing. This is a series of one-shot parodies. (Chapter 1: Cell Block Tango)
1. Cell Block Tango

Hi guys! This is so unlike me to do parodies. . . But anyway, I'm going to start doing a bunch of insane parody one shots, most likely a random scene from random musicals. Review! Here's all the pairings so you aren't confused:  
  
Faye and Spike (Cowboy Bebop) Miaka and Tamahome (Fushigi Yuugi) Carol and Bikky (Fake) Kagome and Inuyasha (Inuyasha) Kaoru and Kenshin (Rurouni Kenshin) Sora and Riku (Kingdom Hearts)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, nor Chicago. Note: Sora is speaking Hungarian. And Edward is from Cowboy Bebop, just so you know!!  
  
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[Edward]  
  
And now, the five merry murderesses from the Cooke County Jail in their rendition  
  
of The Cell-block Tango.  
  
[Faye]  
  
Pop.  
  
[Miaka]  
  
Six.  
  
[Kagome]  
  
Squish.  
  
[Sora]  
  
Uh-Uh.  
  
[Carol]  
  
Cicero.  
  
[Kaoru]  
  
Kenshin!  
  
[Faye]  
  
Pop.  
  
[Miaka]  
  
Six.  
  
[Kagome]  
  
Squish.  
  
[Sora]  
  
Uh-Uh.  
  
[Carol]  
  
Cicero.  
  
[Kaoru]  
  
Kenshin!  
  
[All Murderess's]  
  
He had it coming  
  
He had it coming  
  
He only had himself to blame.  
  
If you'd have been there  
  
If you'd have seen it  
  
[Carol]  
  
I betcha you would have done the same!  
  
[Faye]  
  
Pop.  
  
[Miaka]  
  
Six.  
  
[Kagome]  
  
Squish.  
  
[Sora]  
  
Uh-Uh.  
  
[Carol]  
  
Cicero.  
  
[Kaoru]  
  
Kenshin!  
  
[Faye]  
  
Pop.  
  
[Miaka]  
  
Six.  
  
[Kagome]  
  
Squish.  
  
[Sora]  
  
Uh-Uh.  
  
[Carol]  
  
Cicero.  
  
[Kaoru]  
  
Kenshin!  
  
[All Murderess's]  
  
He had it coming  
  
He had it coming  
  
He only had himself to blame.  
  
If you'd have been there  
  
If you'd have seen it  
  
[Carol]  
  
I betcha you would have done the same!  
  
[Faye]  
  
Pop.  
  
[Miaka]  
  
Six.  
  
[Kagome]  
  
Squish.  
  
[Sora]  
  
Uh-Uh.  
  
[Carol]  
  
Cicero.  
  
[Kaoru]  
  
Kenshin!  
  
[Faye]  
  
You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Spike.  
  
Spike liked to chew gum. No, not chew. Pop. So, I came home this one day and  
  
I am really irritated and looking for a little sympathy and there's Spike  
  
layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Popin'. So,  
  
I said to him, I said, "Spike, you pop that gum one more time..."  
  
And he did!  
  
So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots...  
  
...into his head.  
  
[All Murderess's]  
  
He had it coming  
  
He had it coming  
  
He only had himself to blame.  
  
If you'd have been there  
  
If you'd have heard it  
  
I betcha you would  
  
Have done the same!  
  
[Miaka]  
  
I met Tamahome from Salt Lake City about two years ago and he told me he  
  
was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd  
  
go to work, he'd come home, I'd mix him a drink, we'd have dinner.  
  
And then I found out, "Single" he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he  
  
married. ...oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that  
  
night when he came home from work. I mixed him his drink as usual.  
  
You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic!  
  
[All without Miaka]  
  
Hah! He had it coming / Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh,  
  
He had it coming / Cicero, Kenshin!  
  
He took a flower  
  
In its prime  
  
And the he used it / Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh,  
  
And he abused it / Cicero, Kenshin!  
  
It was a murder  
  
But not a crime!  
  
[Kagome]  
  
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my  
  
own business, and in storms my husband Inuyasha, in a jealous rage. "You been  
  
screwin' Miroku," he says. He was crazy and he kept on screamin' "You  
  
been screwin' Miroku," And then he ran into my knife! He ran into my  
  
knife TEN TIMES!  
  
[All Murderess's]  
  
If you'd have been there  
  
If you'd have seen it  
  
I betcha you would have done the same!  
  
[Sora]  
  
Mit keresek, enn itt? Azt mondjok, hogy lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg  
  
lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja  
  
Uncle Sam hogy en tetten. Probaltam a rendorsegen megmagyarazni de nem  
  
ertettek meg...  
  
[Edward]  
  
Yeah, but did you do it?  
  
[Sora]  
  
UH UH, not guilty!  
  
[Carol]  
  
My sister, Veronica, and I had this double act and my husband, Bikky,  
  
traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act, we did these 20  
  
acrobatic tricks in a row, one, two, three, four, five... Splits, spread  
  
eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. Well, this one  
  
night before the show we are in a hotel Cicero, the three of us, sittin' up  
  
in a hotel room, boozin' and havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I  
  
went out to get some. I come back, open the door and there's Veronica and  
  
Bikky doing Number Seventeen -the spread eagle.  
  
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't  
  
remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my  
  
hands I even knew they were dead.  
  
[Carol, Girls]  
  
They had it coming  
  
They had it coming  
  
They had it coming all along.  
  
I didn't do it/ She does not do it  
  
But if I'd done it (she'd done it)  
  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?  
  
They had it coming  
  
They had it coming  
  
They had it coming  
  
They had it coming  
  
They had it coming  
  
They took a flower  
  
All along  
  
In its prime  
  
I didn't do it  
  
And then they used it  
  
But if I'd done it  
  
And they abused it  
  
How could you tell me  
  
It was a murder  
  
That I was wrong? / But not a crime!  
  
[Kaoru]  
  
I love Kenshin more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic  
  
guy... Sensitive...a painter. He was always trying to find himself. He'd go  
  
out every night looking for himself and along the way he found Daisy, Gladiola,  
  
Rose and Ivy.  
  
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw  
  
himself as alive and I saw him dead.  
  
[All Murderess's]  
  
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
  
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
  
[All without Kaoru]  
  
They had it comin'  
  
They had it comin'  
  
They had it comin'  
  
They had it comin'  
  
They had it comin'  
  
They had it comin'  
  
All along  
  
All along  
  
'Cause if they used us  
  
'Cause if they used us  
  
And they abused us  
  
And they abused us  
  
How could you tell us  
  
How could you tell us  
  
That we were wrong?  
  
That we were wrong?  
  
[Carol, Kagome, Sora]  
  
He had it coming  
  
He had it coming  
  
He only had  
  
Himself  
  
To blame.  
  
If you'd have been there  
  
If you'd have seen it  
  
I betcha  
  
You would  
  
Have done  
  
The same!  
  
[Faye]  
  
You pop that gum one more time!  
  
[Miaka]  
  
Single my ass.  
  
[Kagome]  
  
Ten times!  
  
[Sora]  
  
Miert csukott Uncle Sam bortonbe.  
  
[Carol]  
  
Number Seventeen - the spread eagle.  
  
[Kaoru]  
  
Artistic differences.  
  
[Faye]  
  
Pop.  
  
[Miaka]  
  
Six.  
  
[Kagome]  
  
Squish.  
  
[Sora]  
  
Uh-Uh.  
  
[Carol]  
  
Cicero.  
  
[Kaoru]  
  
Kenshin!  
  
[Faye]  
  
Pop.  
  
[Miaka]  
  
Six.  
  
[Kagome]  
  
Squish.  
  
[Sora]  
  
Uh-Uh.  
  
[Carol]  
  
Cicero.  
  
[Kaoru]  
  
Kenshin! 


	2. Lovely Ladies

Woo~ Another chapter for my odd parodies! This one is from Les Miserables. Riku plays Fantine, and the whores are all the bishoujo I hate. I don't hate Miroku, it just seemed to make sense that he'd be a pimp, ya know?  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Riku, Relena, Yuna, Miroku, Les Miserables, Kikyou, or Kairi. So nya~  
  
Chapter 2: Lovely Ladies  
  
[The docks. Sailors, whores and their customers, pimps, etc. Riku wanders in.]  
  
[Sailors] I smell women Smell 'em in the air Think I'll drop my anchor In that harbor over there Lovely ladies Smell 'em through the smoke Seven days at sea Can make you hungry for a poke Even stokers need a little stoke!  
  
[Whores] Lovely ladies Waiting for a bite Waiting for the customer Who only comes at night Lovely ladies Waiting for the call Standing up or lying down Or any way at all Bargain prices up against the wall  
  
[Yuna] Come here, my dear Let's see this trinket you wear This bagatelle...  
  
[Riku] Madame, I'll sell it to you...  
  
[Yuna] I'll give you four  
  
[Riku] That wouldn't pay for the chain  
  
[Yuna] I'll give you five, you're far too eager to sell, it's up to you.  
  
[Riku] It's all I have  
  
[Yuna] That's not my fault  
  
[Riku] Please make it ten  
  
[Yuna] No more than five My dear, we all must stay alive!  
  
[Whores] Lovely ladies Waiting in the dark Ready for a thick one Or a quick one in the park Long time short time Any time, my dear Cost a little extra if you want to take all year! Quick and cheap is underneath the pier!  
  
[Relena] What pretty hair What pretty locks you got there What luck you got, it's worth a centime my dear I'll take the lot  
  
[Riku] Don't touch me leave me alone  
  
[Relena] Let's make a price; I'll give you all of ten francs Just think of that!  
  
[Riku] It pays a debt  
  
[Relena] Just think of that  
  
[Riku] What can I do? It pays a debt. Ten francs may save my poor Sora!  
  
[Sailors and Whores] Lovely lady! Lovely ladies Fastest on the street Lovely little girls Wasn't there three minutes Lovely ladies She was back up on her feet Lovely little ladies Lovely lady! Lovely girlies What yer waiting for? Lovely little girls Doesn't take a lot of savvy We are lovely, lovely girls Just to be a whore Lovely ladies Come on, lady What's a lady for? What's a lady for?  
  
[Riku re-emerges, his long hair cut short.]  
  
[Miroku] Give me the dirt, who's that bit over there?  
  
[Kikyou] A bit of skirt, she's the one sold her hair.  
  
[Kairi] She's got a kid sends her all that she can  
  
[Miroku] I might have known There is always some man Lovely lady, come along and join us! Lovely lady!  
  
[Whores] Come on dearie, why all the fuss? You're no grander than the rest of us Life has dropped you at the bottom of the heap Join your sisters; make money in your sleep!  
  
[Riku goes off with one of the sailors.]  
  
That's right dearie, let him have the lot That's right dearie, show him what you've got!  
  
Old men, young men, take 'em as they come Harbor rats and alley cats and every type of scum Poor men, rich men, leaders of the land See them with their trousers off they're never quite as grand All it takes is money in your hand! Lovely ladies Going for a song Got a lot of callers But they never stay for long  
  
[Riku] Come on, Captain You can wear your shoes Don't it make a change To have a girl who can't refuse Easy money Lying on a bed Just as well they never see The shame that's in your head Don't they know they're making love To one already dead! 


End file.
